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Courage and better processes are keys to senior level roles

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[Author:  Gwen Rhys]

My 25-yr old godson recently attended a corporate away-day: “Did you know research shows that women only apply for jobs when they met 100% of the qualifications listed, as opposed to men, who apply if they met 60%?” he asked me.

I replied that well, yes, I had heard this (yawn!).

I also pointed out that this much-cited “research” purportedly came from an internal Hewlett Packard (HP) report from which HP had deduced that the lack of women in upper management in its organisation was due to a lack of confidence among women. Quite why it never occurred to HP that it might be overconfidence in men, I’m not sure, but this one piece of “research” has influenced the entire narrative of why women don’t progress to senior roles.

Research validity

In 2014, Norwegian academic Curt Rice who leads Norway’s Committee on Gender Balance and Diversity in Research set out to find this “research” and concluded that

There is no legitimate, evidence-based foundation for the claim that men apply for jobs when they feel 60 percent qualified while women have to be 100 percent certain. None. Nothing that can be examined, reproduced, reviewed or cited.

Further research

In the same year, Tara Mohr, an expert on women’s leadership, surveyed over a thousand men and women, predominantly American professionals, and asked them, “If you decided not to apply for a job because you didn’t meet all the qualifications, why didn’t you apply?”

According to the self-report of the respondents, the barrier to applying was not lack of confidence. In fact, for both men and women, “I didn’t think I could do the job well” was the least common of all the responses. Only about 10% of women and 12% of men indicated that this was their top reason for not applying.

So what were their reasons for not applying?

Didn’t want to waste time and energy

Men and women gave the same most common reason for not applying. 41% of women and 46% of men indicating their top reason as: “I didn’t think they would hire me since I didn’t meet the qualifications, and I didn’t want to waste my time and energy.”

Fear of failure

22% of women indicated their top reason was that they didn’t want to put themselves out there if they were going to fail – the consequences would be too great – and Stanford research has indicated that women’s failures are remembered longer than men’s.

Following the rules

15% of women indicated the top reason they didn’t apply was because they were following the guidelines about who should apply.

It’s the process not the people

Mohr concluded that women don’t need to try and find that elusive quality, “confidence,” but rather hiring and promotional processes need to be more transparent and equality based.

This view is also held by Carolyn Tastad, group president of North America at Procter & Gamble. At the 2019 World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, on a panel called Female Leadership at a Tipping Point, she highlighted the flawed belief of women lacking confidence by saying:

There is a false narrative and there are false bias assumptions we are using as justification for the lack of progress. There are a number of things we have to do differently.

We’ve got to get rid of this notion that women have to behave differently. We’ve got to be very intentional in our talent planning — reverse engineer it. If you narrow it down to specifics and maths, it can be done.

We need equality based policies. We need to find ways for men and women to be equal partners at home to enable quality in the workplace.

Why change the process?

Women take written job qualifications more seriously than men, for several reasons:

  1. A McKinsey report found that men are often hired or promoted based on their potential, women for their experience and track record. If women have watched that occur in their workplaces, it makes perfect sense they’d be less likely to apply for a job for which they didn’t meet the qualifications.
  2. Girls are strongly socialized to follow the rules and in school are rewarded, again and again, for doing so. In part, girls’ greater success in school (relative to boys) can be attributed to their better rule following. Then in their careers, that rule-following habit has real costs, including when it comes to adhering to the guidelines about “who should apply.”
  3. Certifications and degrees have historically played a different role for women than for men. The 20th century saw women break into professional life – but only if they had the right training, the right accreditations. These qualifications were women’s ticket in, a way of proving they could do the job. Women weren’t part of an old boys club in which they’d get the benefit of the doubt. That history can lead women to see the workplace as more orderly and meritocratic than it really is. As a result women mayoverestimate the importance of their formal training and qualifications, and underutilize advocacy and networking.

Mohr concluded:

It took me a while to understand that the habits of diligent preparation and doing quality work that I’d learned in school were not the only—or even primary—ingredients I needed to become visible and successful within my organization.

When it comes to applying for jobs, women need to do the same. Of course, it can’t hurt to believe more in ourselves. But in this case, it’s more important that we believe less in what appear to be the rules.

Have courage, take on challenging goals

I meet many high qualified, capable women. Many tell me they “lack confidence”. I’m not certain they do. I think this is a self-fulfilling prophecy that the HP “research” has encouraged.  However, I do sense they often lack courage – the courage to “have a go”, to put themselves out there certain in the knowledge that they will bounce back to fight another day.

Individuals, boys and men in particular, are often described as being over-confident (cocky) but I’ve never heard anyone being described as over-courageous. So I urge women to stop talking about their “lack of confidence”. Be courageous and confidence will follow.

As Adam Grant, Organizational psychologist at Wharton Business School, US has said:

You don’t need to build confidence to achieve challenging goals. You build confidence through achieving challenging goals.

 

Blow your own trumpet, the #1 tip for women

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“Blow your own trumpet” is something men somehow seem to do all the time. They just subtly drop how brilliantly they contributed to the last design, or they jokingly repeat a compliment from – obviously – a highly regarded person.  I was 5 years into my working life when I realised that men actually do this.

They are so practised they make it sound like normal conversation.  Start listening out for it and you will find many men drop positives about themselves, and their achievements all the time.

Women find this harder, and often even do the opposite. They put themselves down, or typically spend a lot of time talking about a current issue or something they messed up.

It wouldn’t be a problem if we were just judged on objective outputs. However, in many organisations promotions are based on reputation. Even seemingly objective appraisals are heavily influenced by your reputation.  So, let me give you the #1 tip on what to do about this.

Why is it so hard to blow your own trumpet?

But first let me explain why it’s so hard for women to blow their own trumpet. It seems easy to solve. Surely you can just tell them it’s okay? But it’s actually really hard to do. It feels unnatural and often comes out the wrong way, thus making you sound really awkward.

Why is this? This is because the girl-culture women grow up in is different from boy-culture.

Girls aren’t supposed to boast. If they do they are ostracized by other girls – “Who does she think she is?” they say, “Getting above herself.”  From a young age girls bond by confirming each other. They will say, ‘Look at my drawing, it’s rubbish’ and another girl is supposed to respond by saying, ‘It’s brilliant, I love it!’

When I started listening out for it, I heard it all the time! ‘No, your dress is gorgeous!’, ‘No, you really don’t have to be good at singing – none of us are – we would love you in the mums’ choir’.

In contrast it’s actually completely normal in boy-culture to broadcast your achievements. Boys get respect from other boys when they shout ‘I made more goals than you!’ Teachers then tell them it’s not okay to boast, and that’s when they start practising to do it in more subtle ways. I heard a boy say, ‘I don’t want to boast, but I did beat him yesterday.’

In addition,  in day-to-day life talking about life’s miseries is a great way of connecting with other women. It really resonates, and often they reciprocate by sharing a story about something they are unhappy about, building an even stronger bond.

No wonder then that it’s hard for women to learn to blow their own trumpet. They have learned that they get ostracized when they do, and they have learned that they build bonds by broadcasting problems and faults.

The #1 tip when you need to blow your own trumpet: Change your perspective

So what can you do?

The most powerful technique that’s worked for me is to put blowing your own trumpet in a different perspective. Ask yourself how it would help others if you would talk about your achievements.

  • Your colleagues would love to know what you are good at. It makes it easier for them to come to you when they have a problem that needs solving. When I asked men what they thought about other men talking about their achievements, they said it’s exactly what they want to hear. They believed it showed passion and knowledge. They learn from it too.
  • Your line manager would love to know what you have achieved. It gives them ammunition which they can use to boast about their teams achievements. It can also help them put you forward if someone else needs an experienced person.
  • Potential clients are often searching everywhere for a solution. If you don’t shout off the rooftops, they will never find you. Imagine how many more people you could help if more people knew about you?

Blow your own trumpet – in practice

Then of course you need to do it the right way. So listen out to how men do it, and start experimenting with dropping your great stuff into conversations.

How could it help others if they know about your achievements?

 

[Published by WiC on behalf of Inge Woudstra of W2O Consulting and Training]

 

Leveraging gender difference at work, tips for women

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[Words by Inge Woudstra]

Are you keen to get ahead? Then you know it’s not easy.

Sometimes it seems a lot easier for men, and you may feel that women have to work twice as hard and be twice as good.

Let me tell you that it isn’t just you. Many women feel the same. I believe this is because men and women are different, and organisations are designed for men.

Our brains, psychology and hormones are different. Furthermore we grow up in a society that has different norms for men and women. As a result we behave differently and are motivated and inspired differently. Asking women to be successful in an organisation designed for men is like asking a fish to climb a tree. It’s exhausting, and you have to grow arms and gills in the process.

I suggest you do it differently.

Why not ? That is Gender Smart working. Here are four ways to help you get started.

Speak Up about your way of working.

Men and women are different, we can do the same jobs and achieve the same but we often go about it in a different way. The way women work tends to be more intangible; it’s about facilitating, involving others and subtle influencing and can be less visible. Therefore you need to speak up about your way of working.

Evaluate how you achieve results.

Once you know, communicate your approach to your team and your manager. Once the job is done recount which results you have achieved and how they came about.

Be aware of how you bring value and..speak up about it.

Women’s brains are more connected than those of men. As a result men tend to focus on one task, whereas women tend to look at the big picture and for instance see connections with other projects or impacts on clients. This can be hugely valuable as it breaks through silo-thinking, leads to better decisions and eliminates unnecessary tasks.

Women tend to have a consultative style of working, asking, ‘What do you think?’ Men tend to have a more directive style, ‘This is what we will do’. A consultative style draws in a range of expertise, leads to more buy-in and more resilient decisions.

Reflect on how you bring value.

Are you good at seeing the bigger picture, do you have a consultative style? Observe how your strengths bring value to your team and help you achieve results. Once you know, it will be easier to speak up about your achievements and build your profile.

Relate to What Works for Men.

When you talk about your way of working, and how you bring value, it’s important that the men you work with can hear you. Make sure you relate to their priorities and interests.

Bring short messages; the focussed male brain usually prefers short pieces of information, relating to one topic. Focus on end-results. Present information in data, graphs and images.

How to Make it Work for You

Of course we are all individuals, and you are not like other women. The man you are working with is not like other men either. So there isn’t one answer to how to get ahead.

Being Gender Smart is all about applying gender differences to you and your situation, and trying out what works to help you get ahead.

[Published by WiC on behalf of Inge Woudstra of W2O Consulting and Training]

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Your girlfriends are the key to career success – can it be true?

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[Words:  Inge Woudstra]

There’s a lot of support out there for women, such as in women’s networks, coaching and mentoring. Some people believe that these networks are needed as women are more insecure and need to be propped up. They believe that perhaps women can’t cope by themselves. Perhaps that is even what you think. Perhaps you think you are better off networking with men.

It’s especially hard to network with women as some of these women’s groups are made fun of by the guys too. It sort of scares them, all these women, and they say something about ‘gossiping’ and roll their eyes.

But, think about it. Many women do like to vent and feel that someone else really understands. Is that really bad? Many women do love gossiping. Should we stop doing it? Should we just grow up and be serious and professional?

No! The opposite is true. We need our girlfriends, they are essential for our health, well-being and career success. Let me show you why, and how you can make it work for you to help your career.

Girlfriends are essential – they keep us stable, healthy and confident

Personally, I never gave my girlfriends, networks and gossip a second thought. I love it, so what if I am being made fun of?

However I changed my mind after reading this fantastic article by Bonnie Marcus published here.  Bonnie, the founder of the site, and a successful business coach, quotes the head of psychiatry at Stanford, and it instantly hit a nerve with me.

He says:

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin–a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.

Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings?–rarely.

Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

He explained that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

After reading this, I realised how essential my female friends are for me. How spending time with them is not wasting my time, but is a form of exercise. When we exercise we are doing something that’s good for our bodies, and it’s the same when we are hanging out with female friends.

So I started doing it more deliberately, and it has hugely boosted my confidence and creativity.

Building your circle of girlfriends to help your career

So what does this mean for you? What do you need to do and, more importantly, what can you do to make it work for your career?

1. Make sure you vent, gossip and share your feelings in a safe place

Yes, you do need to vent gossip, and share your feelings, no need to be ashamed of it, it’s for your health and it helps you feel secure. But keep it to yourself, and be careful not to do it in the office. You wouldn’t do a fitness work-out in the office would you? There’s a time and a place for everything.

This advice particularly applies if you work in a male-dominated industry. Similarly it applies if you work at – or aspire to work at – a more senior level, dominated by males. So do remember that the first thing you need to do is to find a safe place before sharing your feelings.

2. Consciously build a support system

Perhaps you have a good group of friends, which is great, but you want to check if they can really help with your career. If you find this is not the case, you need to start building your own support system. You could join a women’s network, just try a few and see which one resonates with you.

If you can’t find the support you like. Then just start your own network or LinkedIn Group. Or, if you are more of a 1-to-1 person, why not organise a monthly chat over lunch with a peer, a ‘sparring partner’. Or look for a more formal way to create similar support. A coach can have this role, or a mentor.

3. Don’t be afraid to chat and share while networking with women

Networking groups are often seen as a place to build business contacts, and eventually sell. Yes, this is indeed what you need to do while out networking.

But a networking group that you visit regularly can also become a great place to find support. A place where you can find someone who listens, someone that recognises your issues, and helps you feel motivated and inspired. Don’t worry about it and do make sure there is time and space for you mental work-out!

4. Remember, network for your career too, with men!

So yes, it is good to network for support, but you also need to network for career opportunities. It can be helpful to find a sponsor or mentor who can help you with that, join a business network or go for a role as a governor or non executive director.

For this sort of networking you do not have to turn to other women. You need someone that can connect you with the right people or opportunities, someone that will champion your cause and help you get ahead. Men might even be better placed for that, as they often have a different or wider network.

Where to start?

Your first step, is to find a few minutes to reflect. Check in with yourself and ask ‘Do I feel supported?’ Perhaps you regularly feel frustrated, with no place to go. Or perhaps you bore your partner with work feelings, or worse even, burst out in slightly inappropriate rants to random colleagues. Then it’s time to look for further support and start building your network of female supporters.

[Published by WiC on behalf of Inge Woudstra of W2O Consulting and Training]

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Successful careers are rarely planned

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WiC Future Leaders Award Finalists 2016

Careers develop when people are prepared for opportunities because they know their strengths, their method of work, and their values.

Gone are the days when we could easily answer the question: “What do you want to do when you grow up?” Yes, some people know early on that they want to be a teacher, a doctor, an engineer, a pilot, a chef but for the majority of us not only does it take a while to discover where our talents lie and how and where we can best use them, in today’s fast changing world, we need to be able to take advantage of new opportunities as and when they arise.

Management Guru, Peter Drucker suggests that most people do not really know where they belong until they are well past their mid-twenties.  By that time however, they should know “who” they are and the “environment” that enables them to succeeed.

In order to do this,  he says,  you should know the answer to these three questions:

What are my strengths?

The only way to discover your strengths is through feedback analysis. Whenever you make a key decision, or take a key action, write down what you expect will happen. Review regularly, compare the actual results with your expectations.  Ask others, too.

Remember, though, your strengths are often the flip-side of your weaknesses, so avoid wasting effort on improving areas of low competence.

Drucker noted that “It takes far more energy and work to improve from incompetence to mediocrity than it takes to improve from first-rate performance to excellence.” so make sure you play to your strengths and work in organisations that value you.

How do I perform?

How you perform is unique and is formed long before you start work. Certainly, you can modify your way of performing but, just as leopards can’t change their spots, you’re unlikely to be able to completely change your way of working.  You’re likely to achieve the best results by doing what you’re good at, and by working in ways that enable you to perform at your best.

If you’re someone who’s not performing in one situation when you performed well in another, ask yourself “Is this me or the situation I find myself in?” Be honest with yourself – it could be either.

What are my values?

This is not a question of ethics, but of “What kind of person do I want to see in the mirror in the morning?” To work in an organisation where the value system is unacceptable or incompatible with your own is condeming yourself to frustration and to non-performance.

In addition to the above, Karen Blackett OBE, country manager for WPP and chairwoman of MediaCom, suggests you also ask yourself the following question on a regular basis:

What is the contribution that I plan to make?

This is a killer question.  Answering it enables you to work well with colleagues, stand out from the crowd and helps you when you’re seeking promotion, a salary increase or at a job interview.

Blackett says:

You won’t feel satisfied if your answers don’t fit with your company. They’re hard to answer properly and it takes time, but I ask myself every six months, because the answers change.

Only when you can answer these questions honestly can you decide where you belong or, just as importantly, where you do not belong.

You may be a big organisation person, you may prefer working in a start-up, a for-profit or a not-for-profit. You may be a decision-maker or you may prefer to let others do that. You may be happy with ambiguity but equally you may prefer to know exactly what’s what, when and where.

Knowing “who” you are means you’re not only better placed to ensure that you’ll thrive but you’lll be better placed to assess an opportunity, an offer, or an assignment.

You may be able to say a straight “Yes” knowing you’re the round peg for the round hole.  But you might say:  “Yes, but it’s only going to work if …. (I do it this way. That it should be structured this way. This is the way the relationships should be. These are the kinds of results you should expect from me, and in this time frame.) Equally, you can say “No” (and if necessary explain why) knowing that it isn’t going to work for you.

Understanding how to manage yourself is an important skill and process. As Drucker said: “No matter where we go or what we do, our selves will always be with us.”

[Words:  Gwen Rhys]